Why I’m Ditching The Notion That First Impressions Are Everything

Why I’m Ditching The Notion That First Impressions Are Everything

When I think back to the first encounters with some of my favourite people, it’s safe to say we hit it off right away. Damien and I met in a club and went on our first date the very next day, my friend L’Oréal and I met at an event and basically declared our friendship within a matter of hours and I knew on my first day of college when my friend Dawn came over to introduce herself with a big friendly smile on her face, that we were instantly going to be good friends.

First impressions do mean a lot, and those have been some of my most lasting ones, but when I really think about it, not all of my most important relationships began in such a way.

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I used to be very much of the notion that first impressions meant everything and if you didn’t hit it off right away or get a clear vibe from a person, then it was likely a sign that it wasn’t meant to be. I can easily dismiss possible friendships if I don’t feel that there is that initial spark right away. However something I’ve learnt over time is that a lot of relationships can actually take a while to get going and not everyone finds it easy to be their true self from the get go when interacting with someone completely new.

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I think I’ve realised this in myself too. I always attempt to make a good first impression but on many occasions I think I can actually end up coming across as quite overly enthusiastic, which I realise can be quite overwhelming for someone who is maybe not as naturally bubbly. What was initially supposed to be a friendly introduction can end up coming across as quite overbearing. Then on other occasions I can be the complete opposite. I’d never exactly describe myself as a shy person but sometimes in certain situations (especially at events and things), if nobody has made any introductions and I feel like everyone else knows each other, I can become quite quiet, or at least just stick to who I know. I think this is due to past experiences where I’ve been my usual happy overly-talkative self with new people and it’s not always been received too well because maybe people think I’m being too overfamiliar, when that’s really not my intention.

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This mix of experiences with trying to make good first impressions on my part has made me realise that it’s not always easy to get your true self across in the first meeting. If I occasionally struggle as someone who is quite confident, then I can only imagine what it must be like for someone who is shy. And this is exactly why it’s good to remember that first impressions actually aren’t everything. Whilst yes, it’s important to try and come across as friendly when meeting someone new, I really don’t think that first impression should be the be all and end all. Not everyone is good in social situations and this can be detrimental when it comes to forming new relationships.

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Sometimes people who come across as antisocial are just socially awkward and those who come across as rude are just plain shy. Some of my closest friends are actually both (socially awkward and shy I mean, not antisocial and rude haha)…but I wouldn’t have got to know that if I’d only taken their first impressions and not got to know them further. Not everyone has the skill of being instantly charming and just because someone doesn’t come across the best from your first encounter with them, it doesn’t mean they are not actually a nice person.

I was reminded of this a while ago. I bumped into someone who I’d initially not had good vibes from and needless to say, in our initial meeting, we hadn’t hit it off. I surprised myself though on this occasion as I actually found myself really liking the person and getting on with them, a lot! What was it about that first encounter that had gone so wrong, I wasn’t sure and I don’t think they were aware of it either. It was definitely a reminder that not only should you not judge a book by its cover but that you shouldn’t just judge it from the first few pages either. It’s always a good idea to read on to find out the real story.

Samio x

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8 Comments

  1. Holly White
    June 7, 2018 / 6:16 am

    Love this post Samio! First impressions are a tough one – I sometimes think I can be a bit overwhelming for people too! I love a good chat and talking about anything and everything straight away, but other people love a bit of small talk first!
    I think it might be the industry I’m in – you just have to be able to talk and impress as soon as you walk through the door! But, with people that aren’t necessarily like that too, it’s nice to take more time to find out what’s behind your initial first impression! Xxx

    • Samio
      Author
      June 15, 2018 / 7:40 pm

      Thanks Holly and yes it can be tricky can’t it. But you made a great first impression on me anyway. 🙂

      Samio xxx

  2. Pam
    June 7, 2018 / 7:55 am

    First love the outfit, and I really agree with your point of view. I’ve come across as way too happy before which is definitely going to weird some people haha
    Pam xo/ Pam Scalfi♥

    • Samio
      Author
      June 15, 2018 / 7:39 pm

      Haha, I like the super happy vibe, but I know what you mean, some people don’t know how to cope with it.

      Samio x

  3. June 11, 2018 / 9:45 am

    Wow! So many inspiring ideas in one blog post! A perfect sleeveless belted maxi gown in oxblood! Love the way you pair it with a shoulder bag and white heeled sandals.
    Hugs and Kisses,
    Gloria
    https://styledebates.com/

    • Samio
      Author
      June 15, 2018 / 7:39 pm

      Thank you Gloria!

      Samio x

  4. June 12, 2018 / 12:26 pm

    I wish more people would think this way! I always try to keep an open mind with people and I like to speak to people a few times before I try to get a vibe from them, if that makes sense. I just know first impressions are a lot of pressure and personally I don’t feel like I want people to judge me from a one off so I try not to do that with other people as well. Reading this also kind of struck a cord with me. With people I know and trust, I am a very very animated person. As in, many a hand gestures, I’m super facially expressive and yep, it can come off like a lot if people aren’t really like that. On the other hand much like you in some certain social situations (especially ones where I feel intimidated) I am actually quite anxious and shy, so I’ll tend to keep to myself a lot more. I recently got told by someone who I was trying to impress that they thought I was uptight, which to be honest really really knocked my confidence and it completely made me over-analyse how I may come off in a first impression. I think it’s so important to not just assume a person is a certain way, because you never know what’s behind how they’re acting and how they’re actually feeling on the inside. Anyway, sorry for the super long comment but this post gave me a bit more hope that maybe other people won’t just judge based on their first initial impressions.

    Julia // The Sunday Mode

    • Samio
      Author
      June 15, 2018 / 7:38 pm

      It’s funny isn’t it how hard it can actually be sometimes to make a good first impression. I’m sorry to hear that your recent experience knocked your confidence, it’s a shame more people don’t realise how hard it can be to fully relax on the first encounter. I’ve found on many occasions it can actually take a few meetings before you really start to click with someone. I think the problem is that there really is so much emphasis put on how important first impressions are. Maybe if there wasn’t such pressure around it, we’d all be able to relax a little more.

      Samio x

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